The Robins
by AlmightyCrab
Summary: We're all familiar with Batman's sidekicks Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake, and Damian Wayne as the Boy Wonder, Robin, but what do they do whenever they get a chance to just be normal?


**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of DC comics. A lot of the material used in this story is based off of events that actually happened in the comics, some I made up myself.**

"May I take your order, handsome?"

"I'm still waiting on some people, but in the meantime I'll just have some water." Replies Dick Grayson as he runs his hand through his long, dark hair and gives the waitress his famous smirk. She blushes as she writes that down.

"I knew you were too good-looking to be here alone. Who are you waiting on? Girlfriend?"

"No. My brothers."

"Family get-together?" asked the perky waitress.

Dick smirked once more and said "More or less. Do you have any brothers, Connie?" Dick was currently not in a relationship-ish state with either Kori or Barbara, so he figured he'd probably have a good shot with the waitress.

She blushed and asked "How'd you know my name is Connie?"

"I can read." He says, pointing to her name tag. He hadn't intended to check her name, he just happened to see it while glancing at her breasts.

"Oh, duh, Connie!" she said while playfully slapping herself upside the head. "No, I don't have any brothers. Only child. Growing up I kind of always wanted a little brother, but, sorry I'm rambling now. Um, I'll go get you that water." She walked away, slightly embarrassed and Dick chuckled to himself.

"Jeez, Grayson, what is it with you and redheads?" asks Jason Todd as he takes a seat in the booth across from his predecessor.

Dick shrugs and says "They're my Kryptonite. Speaking of deadly things, empty your jacket."

Jason casually takes his jacket off and puts it on the booth. "Calm down, Grayson, I came unarmed."

"Yeah, right." Says Dick under his breath. "Where are you coming from?"

"I was on assignment in Starling."

"On assignment?" asked Dick.

"Yeah, dear old dad asked me to investigate a drug ring that was smuggling all kinds of dangerous shit out of Gotham. Venom, Joker toxins, fear gas, you name they've got it. But when I realized it was that time of the year again I dropped everything and headed out here." Explained Jason as he squirted ketchup in his mouth.

Dick stared at him blankly.

"Haha! I'm kidding! I crashed it two days ago. I'm not _that _irresponsible."

"I don't know what you're talking about, but that last part is untrue." Says Damian Wayne as he slides into the seat next to Jason.

"Why do I have to sit next to the twerp?" asks Jason.

"Better you than me." Jokes Tim Drake as he takes the seat next to Dick.

"Here's your water! Oh, are these your brothers?" says Connie the waitress as she delivers the drink to Dick. He was about to answer when Damian interrupted. "They're all adopted. I'm the only biological son in the family."

"Oh, wow, you know some big words! How old are you?"

"I'm eleven you harlot, don't patronize me!"

Dick interrupts by clearing his throat, getting Connie's attention. "Connie, this is Jason," Jason slightly nods his head at her, "Tim," Tim lifts his hand up and smiles, "and last and definitely least, Damian." He folded his arms and began scowling.

"Well, for adopted brothers you all sure look alike!"

The four of them exchanged looks between each other and they all shrugged.

"I don't see it." Says Jason.

Connie shrugs. "So, can I take your orders?"

"I'll just have the steakburger." Says Dick.

"Same here." Says Tim.

"Make that three." Adds on Jason.

Damian lets out a puff of air from his nose. "Savages. Do you have anything vegetarian on the menu?"

"Really? Still with the cow?" asks Jason. Damian glares at him and then back at Connie, expecting an answer.

"Well, we have a Caesar Salad Supreme…"

"Then I'll have that."

She writes it down and then leaves, shooting one last flirtatious look at Dick.

"How do you do it Dick? How do you get every girl you meet to fall in love with you?"

"I've got the Grayson family charm." He says casually.

"Drake's got a point." Adds in Jason. "I mean, I've gotten a few babes myself, but I can't think of a single girl that you've been close with that you haven't dated at least once."

"Seriously, like Starfire, Oracle, even Raven for a while." Says Tim.

"Oh! Don't forget the time Catwoman molested him when we all thought Bruce was dead."

"Seriously Jason, I told you never to bring that up again." Says Dick.

"We do this once a year and you three imbeciles are going to waste it talking about females?" asks Damian.

"Yes. Is that a problem?" asks Tim.

"What do you even know about women, Drake? You're seventeen and you're a still a virgin! I'm eleven and I'll still have sex before you do."

"At least I don't look like a pug!"

"Hey, whoa, wait, you didn't deny that you're a virgin." Says Jason.

"Yes, I'm a virgin. But I almost had sex with Stephanie once."

"Almost, being the operative word there. Seriously, I'm losing my respect for you Drake, and there wasn't much to begin with."

"I've never respected him." Mumbles Damian. Tim ignores him. Dick is just enjoying the show.

"Well at least I've never been killed! You were Robin for like two months I was Robin for five years!"

"Okay, I was Robin for at least a year!"

"I was Robin almost as long as Dick!"

"But you're not Robin anymore." Says Damian.

"I would be if it weren't for you, you little shit."

"Let's face it, wittle Tim is just butthurt because the Robin suit never got him laid." Says Jason.

"That's it, I'm out of here." Tim stands up to leave but Dick gets up and puts his hand on Tim's shoulder.

"Tim, come on, we'll stop. We'll talk about something else. The four of us never get to just hang out except for when we do this. And I'm sure if Bruce knew we did this he'd bug this place and listen to everything we say."

"I wouldn't be surprised if Bruce has this place bugged already." Says Jason and Damian silently agrees with him.

Tim sits back down and crosses his arms. "I hate you guys." He mumbles and it just makes Jason chuckle.

"So if we aren't gonna make fun of Tim's sex life, what are we going to talk about?"

"There is something I've been wondering for quite some time." Says Damian.

"Wait you're actually capable of thinking for yourself?" asks Tim. Damian shoots him a death glare but does not say anything.

"Jason, all any of us know about you is that you're the Red Hood and you kill people. Since my mother brought you back to life, have you ever established a life outside of the family?"

"That's a good question, I can't say I haven't considered it myself." Says Dick.

Jason shrugs. "Not really. I've gone places and met people, but it's mostly always for business and when I do meet anyone it's usually a girl that I'm lying to."

"Okay, but say, hypothetically, that you did get a life, what would you do?" asks Tim.

Jason is stumped. "I don't know, honestly. I'd probably track down some people who are just as awesome as me, become friends with them, and just have a lot of great times. What more should anyone want out of life?"

Dick and Tim exchanged looks and shrugged. "What about you, Damian? If you had a life what would you do?" asks Dick.

"I do have a life, Grayson. Father makes me attend Gotham Academy, even though I already know everything they teach there. Mother taught me everything I needed to know when I was living in grandfather's palace."

"Hold on a second." Says Jason. The others look at him. "You're eleven right?"

Damian nods.

"And I was brought back to life seven years ago, so you would have been…" Jason tried to do the math in his head.

"Four." Say Dick, Tim, and Damian in unison.

"Right, you were four when I came back. Were you there?"

"When I was four I didn't even know who my father was. I knew of the Lazarus Pit, but grandfather had forbidden me from entering the chamber until I was of age."

"A simple no would have sufficed."

Connie came over with the burgers and Damian's salad.

"So how are we enjoying family time?" asks Connie.

"Oh it's been a real blast." Says Tim extremely sarcastically.

"We've just been giving Timmy here a hard time, but it's all out of love." Says Jason, even more sarcastically.

Connie laughs and says she hopes they enjoy their meals before she left.

"So Tim, Damian, how are things with the Titans?" asks Dick.

"That team is so full of immature dullards. It's like working with a flock of mentally unbalanced pigeons." Says Damian.

"So in other words, they're pretty great." Says Tim. "Superboy and Wonder Girl got back together again, we stopped an invasion from Trigon, you're welcome, and Raven almost died, but Damian saved her life, actually."

"Well now I've got to hear that story." Says Dick.

"Saving her life was preferable over Hell on Earth. It was necessary." Says Damian.

"I remember when I started my own Titans." Says Jason, almost blissfully.

"Yeah. Me too." Says Dick with obvious annoyance in his voice.

"Wait, Jason had his own Titans?" asked Tim.

"Oh yeah, we were the most badass team ever! We sure gave Dickiebird and his Titans a run for their money."

"Who was on it?" asked Tim.

"Well, I had seduced a heartbroken Harley Quinn into joining after Joker kicked her out on her tuchas. She's got a thing for us Red Hoods, if you know what I mean." Jason gave a smug look to Tim, silently bragging that he had sex with Harley Quinn. "Deathstroke's kid, Ravager, the first one, not that sexy babe on the Titans with you guys. He got killed by Deathstroke a couple years ago actually. Red Arrow was there. This was when he was all sulky and when he hated Green Arrow. But the best part was Osiris. That kid was a badass, I mean, he was really whiny, but he bitch slapped Cyborg. Best team I ever had."

"That was the only team you've ever had." Says an underwhelmed Dick.

"Who's Osiris?" asked Damian.

"He was like a kid Black Adam. I think he's dead now." Replies Jason as he grabs Dick's water and takes a sip out of it.

"What is it with people that work with you always getting killed?" asked Tim.

"Hey, none of you have ever been killed. You're welcome. God, this burger is so good. Drake are you gonna finish that?"

"Yes, I'm going to finish it, you pig."

"Then finish it."

Jason stared at Tim and silently made him pick up the burger and take bites out of it. He set it back down, but Jason intensified his glare, forcing Tim to continue eating it. When he finished he said "I hate you, Jason."

"Love you too."

"Damian, you haven't touched your salad. Eat up, or else you owe me 7 bucks."

Damian poked the salad with his fork and scowled.

"What's the matter Damian? You miss meat?" mocked Jason.

"No! I always hated meat anyways."

"Uh-huh." Said Jason, Dick, and Tim, all at the same time.

When Dick saw Connie walking back over he straightened up and grinned.

"How's everything tasting, boys?"

"Filling." Said Tim, while glaring at Jason.

"Everything's fantastic, Connie. Thank you." Said Dick. "Although, little Damian is seeming to have a little trouble with maintaining his vegetarianism. You sure you don't want a bite of the burger, Damian?" said Dick, waving the burger in front of Damian's face. His eyes followed it. He slapped it out of Dick's hand and got up.

"I'm going to the bathroom."

"Wow, he seems like quite a handful!"

"You have no idea." Said Tim.

"Well, I'll bring you the check whenever you're ready."

"Now's fine, Connie, thanks." Says Dick and Connie heads off.

"Well, this has been fun, guys."

"Well, that depends on your definition of fun, Grayson. I'm gonna head out. Timmy, I'll let you know if I meet a guy I think you might be interested in."

"Get shot, Jason." Says Tim as he gets out of the booth as well. Jason chuckles as he leaves the restaurant. "What the hell is taking Damian so long?" as Tim asks that, Damian walks out of the bathroom. "Hey, Damian, you gonna finish that salad?" asks Dick, who hasn't left his spot in the booth.

Damian took a little bit to respond. "No."

"Then I expect that seven bucks by the end of the week."

Damian puts his jacket on and walks away without acknowledging Dick.

"We're gonna head out, I'll catch you later Dick. Stop by Titans Tower sometime, they never get to see you anymore."

"I'll think about it. I'll see ya."

Tim salutes Dick before leaving with an irritated Damian.

Connie brings over the check and when she walks away she gives Dick the flirty wave and he responds with the smirk that drives the girls crazy. He gave her a tip and left a sheet of paper on top of the bill for Connie to see. He gives her one last smile before he heads out to return to Bludhaven. She walks over to the table and reads the paper.

"_Dick Grayson. 201-555-1236"_

She smiled as she put the number into her phone and looked at the door that Dick Grayson had walked through.

**A/N: This was a one-shot, I hope you liked it, but I am considering writing a sequel about Nightwing and Connie, among other things. If you want a sequel leave it in a review and I'll probably write one!**


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